Hua Yang Uncle. ( Uncle over flowers).

Hey guys. The torture and torment of ITP has ended. Alright, not torture nor torment, lets put it into a good way, ‘ the hardwork and dedication to ITP has ended.’

Legend = ITP ( Industrial Training Programme, or job attachment).

Many things to share about.

What are they?

They are, well… one of them… the title says it all.~ Well thats for the finale.

I shall share upon what i have gained during this job attachment.

Worked with Andrew in HPH technologies for 6 weeks btw.

Gained the skills of crimping wires. level 31 now. LOL.

Gained the skills to better know the type of wires used, the art of stripping wires, cutting wires, fixing and mounting items in the proper or schemetic way.

SOUNDS BORING WHILE READING ALL THESE RIGHT!?

We shall talk about what makes us laugh…LOL. Makes you too, i hope. 😀

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Hua Yang Unnnncle. ( Uncle Over Flowers).

Background Description. (For the first 4 weeks). 10am in the morning.

3rd floor industrial estate. Outside Company workshop lies a grey with its back window pasted with loony tunes sunscreen protector van.

We paced out from the workshop (Me, andrew and others), headed towards the ONE AND ONLY food OPTION LEFT van, where we saw a bald headed with few strands of grey and black hair uncle, who wore a big old fashioned glasses shouting in front of all of us.

The uncle, who always wore the stripe, dirty uncle-like working t-shirt, and his ragged black colored scandals shouted:

“LAI LAI LAI, kan yao chi she me.” ( Come Come Come, See what you want to eat).

We walked there, looked at the back of the van, and saw an UGLY and Untidy display of food in front of us.

There are curry puffs, carrot cake, donuts, rice dumpling, garlic bread, not cold drinks (though u can witness ice inside its styrofoam tray), cigarettes, unknown brand different flavors of bread, as well as the uncle’s security guard, a housefly.

I think he hired it for free to guard his ‘FRESH’ food from being stolen by us.

No choice, your stomache is grumbling like nothing is inside it for a few decades, we picked these ‘ FRESHEST’ food, where i picked 1 curry puffs, filled with potato fillings.

You know how much it cost?

Guess…………~

$1.30!

WHAT THE !%&!%$!.

It is totally not the freshest, a little warm curry puff for $1.30!?

We two bought drinks and whatever. And went back to the resting room to spend our precious 15 mins break before another 2 hour 15 mins to a 45 minutes break.

Eat Eat Eat, eh not bad leh the curry filling, not too spicy ( i hate spicy, makes me drip water like PUB (Public Utility Board) for free.

After that, go back to work.

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Everyday SEEMS like your gambling. WHY? Since the van uncle can have more and more ‘bodyguards’ to protect his dirty food. You started to wonder which food are the so called at least a little bit fresh one.

After a few days of ‘reckee’ ( Recon or research, lol donno how spell ‘reckee’ btw.) , we have found out that  curry puffs has the most chance of getting the freshier one.

WHAT is the percentage of getting a freshier Curry Puff?

50%. So, back to my above elaboration, isn’t this like you are going to singapore pools to buy 4D? ITS GAMBLING, 50:50 guys!

ROAR!!!!

I remember one time i ate the cold curry puff, don’t wanna throw it away cos damn hungry, no choice. And in the end, went to the toilet tio DIARHOEA!

UNCLE VERY ‘GOOD’.

Let me share one of his TOTAL, even 3 year old kid can see true this lie story.

……..The Story of HUA YANG UNCLE!……………..

His nick name comes from this.

Hua Yang Uncle : ‘ LAI LAI LAI, xiang yao she me mai she me!’ ( Come Come Come, you can buy what ever your want.)

Me and Andrew : “Oh okay.”

Hua Yang Uncle : ‘ XIAO DI AH, why you only buy curry puff? why never buy others? Uncle got different flavors of bread, strawberry chocolate. SHE ME HUA YANG DOU YOU AH!’  ( Translated).

Me: ” Never mind lah uncle, i later got go eat at noon.’

Uncle glanced down at my yellow watch.

Uncle: ‘ Xiao Di ah, how much you buy your watch?’

Me : ” $10″.

Uncle pointed at his metallic heavy watch, looked at me with a very convincing look.

Uncle: ” Uncle bought this watch you guess how much? $3 AH!”

Me: ” Wah, so cheap ah, i see. cannot tell its cheap, thought its expensive.” (Casual talk).

Uncle: ” Yah lah, uncle got lobang. Alot of people know me. Because uncle know how to make business.”

Me and Andrew wondered in our head, WHAT BUSINESS, as we smile at him.

Uncle continues his bragggg.

Uncle: ” Uncle in CHINA got alot of BUSINESS PARTNER, i last time like you already boss liao, now is BIG BOSS. EARN ALOT OF MONEY because i use brain to make business with people. VERY FLEXIBLE PERSON one.”

Me and Andrew : ” ORH…………..~”

Uncle: ” See, must be like uncle, so SUCESSFUL.”

With his stupid laugh, he strode away, boarded his van, and left the scene.

We walked back to the resting room, as we burst into = XD

Giggling with all our mights, we gained attention from all around us. Maybe me only lah, andrew maybe never laugh too hard like me. MUAHAHA.

Even i am typing this right now, i am still chuckling and giggling out. LOL.

If this HUAYANG UNClE, who often claims that he has lots of HUA YANG ( ANY TYPE of VARIETY of food) to sell to us, is really a BIG BOSS, how come still need to wear so saggy, so dirty, and selling all these dirty food with unfriendly manners!?!?!?!?

YAR YAR YAR, he is a big boss. He has lots of ‘BODYGUARDS’ working for him. GREAT BOSS! *CLAP* CLAP*

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Oh yar, the way he express himself when he says he is a BIG BOSS, his hand signs are so extreme. What he simply do is that he raised and open out his arms so big like very happy like that.LOL. LIAR!!!!!

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Alright, now we will share with you the confrontation time…

HUAYANG UNCLE V.S  Food Got License AUNTIE.

-ROUND ONE.-

Food Got License Auntie Drove her van and parked alongside with HUAYANG UNClE Van.

As expected, most of the customers, including us ( of course la) went to the auntie there to try it her food. CHIO AH, her food damn fresh, hot from the oven like PIZZA HUT, got the HOT RED DOT freshness GUARANTEED sticker there one. Reasonable price and nice! So we all bought from Auntie.

HUAYANG UNCLE ANGRY.

HUAYANG UNCLE: ” BUSOK %@*%(@!” (Scolded in malay).

Got license auntie scared. ZAO for a week.

So in the end, we have to tolerate for another week with HUAYANG UNCLE’s FRESH FOOD.

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PAIN AND ANXIETY….SUFFER…~

Days and Nights, Rain or Shine…~

No Glimpse of hope that Our Saviour Auntie is coming….~~~

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During the last week, AUNTIE  CAME BACK AGAIN!!!!!

Everyone there seems like having NATIONAL DAY PARADE. Got Fireworks on their eyes, except no air support seen ah, cos there outside flying zone for military chinook helicopters.

All rush towards Auntie like SINGAPORE IDOL like that go buy food.

In the end, auntie earn $_$.

And uncle have no choice but to leave early to other place. No retaliation at all.

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Hua Yang Uncle’s ‘BIG’ business toppled to the ground, and now, he is considering to fire all his ‘BODY GUARDS’ , the HOUSEFLIES gang, from his van, so that he can import freshier food and regain his profits again…~

AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY AFTER……….~~~~~

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Morale of the story, NOT TO SELL ‘FRESH’ FOOD, be at least a little BUSINESS MINDED will save you from firing your houseflies as your employees!

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Alright, here are all the stories that i am gonna share with you all.

Some pictures of my working environment. AIRCON!

First few weeks got move up and down the floor carrying huge thick wires, but after that, WEEHA!, AIRCON at least!

Made new friends, Why Kei, MinJuan, Melvin, Fayzel they all.

Wanted to thank my supervisor Narthan as well as Ah hao they all for helping me so much. Narthan, my indian good friend, Nandree!

Take care guys!

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